My Need to Survive

-What is my dream?


There is no denying that the question “What am I going to be when I grow up” troubles many teenagers. I have been one of them. Whereas I have to confess that I had never had a clue what I want to do as I was entering adulthood . To be specific, I am a person who has some interest in everything in general. I have a few hobbies and what’s left cannot be utilized to make a living. The question that not knowing what’s up ahead troubles me in a way like looking into the fog.


I think it takes time to discover your strength, and my strength is concentration. Generally speaking, once I have set my mind on solving a problem, I am able to smoothly change the outcome greatly to my favor, of which later becomes my strength. For example, there has always been something that holds me back in highschool: I was in China at the time, and, as a matter of fact, I was vulnerable in learning Physics back then. Apparently my teacher sometimes appeared worrisome about my grades. In response, I decided to concentrate on digging into Physics. It took me only two weeks to boost my marks from 60s to 90s, and my teacher was quite surprised that I made such a progress.


-Responsibility strikes me hard


Later, when I came to Canada, responsibility struck me when I was participating some community work. After talking to coworkers and taking a peek into the adulthood, I became aware of the amount of effort one needs to put into work in order to adapt to the society. Teenagers here in Canada with the same age of mine are often encouraged to be far more independent than teenagers in China. I sensed a heavier load on my back. I knew for a fact that I had to decide my field of study and work  no matter what. There came a chance that, for the first time, I heard the word “Actuary” when I was considering choosing a major. One of my friends told me that, since I was capable of manipulating complex mathematical problems, I could study further and apply it in assessing risk in insurance, which known as Actuarial Science.


-Aced Actuarial Science (kinda) and now what


In the University of Waterloo, Actuarial Science is one of the university’s renowned programs. I have challenged myself in many ways throughout my fears of studying. “Giving up is not an option” so I have told myself because it is the solution I have come up with in order to take responsibility for myself other than the pressure coming from my parents (Asian parents are usually so strict). I am able to pull off a kinda satisfying academic result in order to progress, and I believe it will become the foundation for solving the work problems in the future.


However,  I realized what troubles me, more than my further study of Actuarial Science, is technical English in terms of communicating, writing, and speed reading. English, as my second language, increasingly holds me back. For instance, I have plenty of thoughts that I’d like to share in a group meeting, but I am not able to contribute effectively due to poor communication skills, nor can I talk confidently in front of a crowd. Not to mention the obstacle that for sure might I face later in the workspace. Other than that, how to write in a professional manner remains a problem because I realized that failing in writing in a professional fashion prevents me from delivering a powerful proposition or resume. Additionally, shortcoming in fast reading slows my working effectiveness and precision. Nevertheless, on the plus side, I’m multilingual.

From all that I have encountered during my four years of university studying, I believe I am bound to have a proper education in need of overcoming the problems that I face in technical communication to facilitate my need to advance further in my field of study and work.

One thought on “My Need to Survive

  1. The difference between expectations of teenagers in Canada and China are vastly different! I am sure you felt a lot of pressure when you got here. I am glad you found actuarial science – it’s a supportive community! Great post!


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